Death

I'm afraid of Death, but then, who isn't? Even when I say that I don't, when truly faced, I'd pee in my pants.

Why am I even talking about this? Maybe to remind me that Life is fragile and Death has a tendency to slap me in the face. What I'm really scared is when faced with the death of someone, I may feel nothing, no sadness, no remorse, maybe a moment of suprise, but I am afraid of feeling nothing at all.

The thing is, about a week back, I was contemplating about writing this but having a real incoherent thought process, it immediately left the moment when I wanted to start writing. Now that it has been triggered by the sudden news that my grandpa at home, sick (apparently having a bad case of diarrhoea) and looking very weak. That's when I realise that I will face death, one way or another.

I try to assure myself that Death, like it or not, it's a part of Life. If there was no end, there wouldn't be appreciation, rememberance, tolerance, acceptance, love and a whole bunch of mish mash of emotions.

Life wouldn't be living if there was no Death.

All I can hope and pray is that when comes the time for me to go, I'd like to go in peace and quiet, or fast and painless. No way do I want to suffer during my last moments here.

Immortality? Hmmm... tempting, yes, but I'll pass. Maybe I'll stick to be the memories of my family and friends. Even then when the last person who do remember me, they too will die and once all my works, the photo's I took, this blog, they will one day be forgotten, but I guess, at least, I have achieved some form of immortality. But then, dead man dont need all the stuff the living does.

Did I made sense? No? Well, perhaps it's a good thing then. Bottom line is, I am afraid of having no emotions when Death comes, for me, for the ones I care about.