Local Dialect

Haigh........

Kinek tok madah tulis apap kat sitok aku pun sik tau. Otak kossong. Idea sikda.... Yalah tulis tok. Mun sidak orang putih sik paham, ada kelak mun aku rajin sikit bolehla aku terjemah untuk korang.

Cerita hidup hari tok. Cam biase jak. Bukak mata, tido balit. Agak umah kawan tolong nya ngan game Prince Of Persia. Biasele, master dah katakan! HAHAHAHA! Kakya, agak gereja lawat Tuhan, pegi makan kat Hui Sing, Lepak kat umah, eksen main gitar tapi sik reti main aku! Pih lah!

Ada gik lepak ngan sorang kawan gik. Klakar pasal kehidupan dan sebagai nye.....

kinek tok crita ngan korang kat sitok. Nang boring hor?

Dont worry. I'll get to add the english translation later, now, bath. Oh ya. Aku sik unkah gambar kat sitok sebab digicam tinggal kat kreta. :P

EDIT - March-01-2005 1:05a.m
I did promised you guys I'd ge the English version down right? Well, here it is:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*sigh*...

Now I dont even know what to write. Brain empty. No ideas. That's why I'm writing this. If you guys dont understand this, when I'm a little bit more motivated I'll do a translation for you guys.

Today's life story. Same like any other day. Open eyes, go back to sleep. Then went over friends house to help him solve the Prince Of Persia game. Well, what can i say, I'm GOOD! AAH HAHAHAHA! Then went to church to visit God, Had dinner at Hui Sing, Later hung out at my place and pretended to play the guitar. Like I can! *Figure of speech here*

Then hung out with another friend. Talked about life and other serious stuff and etc.

And now here I am telling you all about it. It's SO boring, isn't it?

Oh and I didnt post any picture because I left the digicam in the car.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: It wont be exactly 100% accurate but it's somewhat there. Oh, and I need recruits for my army in Kings of Chaos. So in other words:

This Uncle Wants, You!

Now, sleep. Only because I'm depresed and I want to stop feeling this shitty about it. Read above post for more info.

Uneventful

Blusky,
originally uploaded by keksilang.

Didn't do much. Did however woke up early because i had to sit for class that was boring and it was suppose to be my off day.
Dang.

I had my first confession. It's a new experience for me. I felt a little better now, though the hurt from the breakup is still there but I feel better now

I love the blue sky. That's why I'm glad that Kuching isn't as badly hazed up like some other places.
Just to look at the skies, outside on an afternoon makes me feel, at peace. For one moment i can look up, feel good and not worry or be hurt.

Anyways. Hope you all had a nice day and a nice day tomorrow. Isn't it nice to know that we have our own way of feeling at peace?


Speaking of which, I'm now playing Kings Of Chaos, thanks to Jezsiema So please, click my recruit link, thanks.

Side Walk

GreeheightBreeze,
originally uploaded by keksilang.

I wish i had taken the signpost earlier on.

Anyway, I had tried this drink called "Greenheight Breeze"

It's a combination of cranberries and apple.

An intereseting mix to say the least. It took me a moment of getting used to it and after a while, the taste really grows to you. I enjoyed it. Though the price might be a little bit over, but very nice.

The atmosphere at Sidewalk is nice. Slow easy music, though it would be better if the volume were a little bit lower. Or maybe we were sitting rather close to the vicinity of the speakers?

Weather was hot. Roughly after midnight did the breeze came. But it didn't made my room any cooler.

Hmm, I should like to comeback here again. But not often. And preferably with good company.

A Whole Mush Of Stuff

Ok, lets see.

I am so bored in class just now.

I met up with an old friend whom i have not been in contact for almost 3 years!

I had a very vivid dream, very "physical" at that too. No, not the usual physical. The "other" one.

Now, Breaking it down. And please before you proceed, this post will have some elements of sex in it but i'll try my best to 'obscure' it. If you're the easily offended type, please stop reading.

Dont say i didn't warn you.

Class boredom.
I wanted to blog earlier on but i got to work a little later than i planned so i had no time for it. Plus i had a cranky stomach.
Class was Ok, i was supposed to learn myself a new skill, but the room was cold, i didnt get enough sleep, and i am still hungry. So, i went blog-surfing.

Old aquaintances.
Dude! (You know who you are!) If you're reading this right now, God has really interesting ways, doesn't He?
Anyways, we haven't seen in each other like for nearly 2,3 years? Wow, we had so much to catch up on our life stories. And we get to do all the stuff we used to do, tho i wish i had brought along an insect repellent spray!
Thanks man, for saving me.

Weird dream.
Dreams arent much of an issue to me. I just go "What the?! What the heck was all that about?!"
Those are just really jumbled bunch of weird trauma, like me falling of stairs, tripping over drains. Mostly about me falling.

Now, the sex part.

Remember in high school, there's bound to be some one, who just had to ask you, "Had any 'wet' dreams lately?"
Now, I'm not sure about the rest but i got approached like a few times back in high school.
Speaking of which, high school here means secondary school.

Back to topic, I'm not sure either about the rest of the human species (Male & Female) but I have NEVER experienced that category of dream state.

Until 2 nights ago.

The first one was, well, I. Have. No. Idea. What was the dream about. I mean, I was rude woken up by "that" "biological function".

I was like "What THE FUCK!".

I ran to toilet. This has never, i repeat again NEVER happened to me before. And after 23 years, now?! I'd guess I can say I'm a late-bloomer?

A little FYI. I was so no longer a virgin when this happened.

Still, it's weird. But I didn't put any tought into it since i had no idea what kind of dream would get me off and it's the first time this has happened. So maybe it's a fluke thing.

Last night however, was different.

After the photoblog tinkering, i went to bed at about 2:45-3 a.m. And i had set my hp to go off at 7.
Now, i can actually RECALL this dream i had.

I was in a place, with this girl. She seemed very, very familiar. And the surroundings was like dark-evening like. I was lying on the bed, which i then realise i was looking at her from the lying position. She was walking towards me and this is to me the weird part.
When i looked down, i saw snakes on the floor. Not sure they were poisonous or not and i never did bother to go into details.

See, even in my dreams I'm lazy!

Anyway, I can see her face but i cant remember it now. She did had shoulder length hair. There wasnt any wind effect blowing on her hair, and it was well kept and combed. You know, like the shampoo ad where the girls go swing their heads like yoyo.

This part gets a little fuzzy. I think we did talk, or at least we did. I'm not sure. And i think that she was shaving my 'area'. The next thing after that, 69.

And i can FEEL that feeling when the 'exercise' was going. It actually registered in my consious part of my mind! That woke me up but it was already too late to hold back.

I ran to the toilet. AGAIN.

2 nights in a row?! In the middle of Lent?! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!!!!

Okay, to put things into perspective. I wasn't sick in any way, I didnt take any medication, I had no liquor, and I had my usual dinner with the family. So drugs and liquor are out.

Still my questions remains unanswered.
2 nights in a row?! After 23 years?! And what on earth did snakes had ANYTHING to do with it?!

Must find food.

EDIT - 02-25-2005 5:20p.m.
Now that i've think about, I am afraid of going to sleep.

HAPPY HAPPY JOY HOY I mean JOY!

mua,
originally uploaded by keksilang.

Everyone, me. Me, everyone.

How do I feel?

Heeeeee..........


Took me quite a bit of tinkering but I did it! Yay! Ahh... I feel so much better now.

Seriously like mac said;
"What better way to cure the angst than dabble in photography?"

Or at least it sounded something like that.

Am going to sleep liao...

Ooh! Something wonderful happened today, I promise I'll blog about it when I get to the office. Now am going to hunt some Z's down!

Heeee........

Posted Angst

My area is smelling like gunpowder and there was flash bangs, shocko bombs and ret-tet-tet goings off. Happy Chap Goh Meh everyone.

Before proceeding, this will be an angsty, depressive post of a pathetic guy who gets emotional when broken-hearted. Also, this my be dis-orienting due to incoherent nature of the thought-process. Leave if you think you'd be disgusted by it.

Warning flare has been lit. Proceed at own peril.
After i got the news that my X was dating another guy, i felt the old wound that i thought wasn't there.

Apparently I was very much mistaken

So, heart-broken, angst, and best-of-all, depressesed, I will now ramble and bitch and moan and whine about it.

Maybe I shouldn't get so worked up about it considering that she didn't do it while we were together. Still I can't help feeling betrayed.

How did i found out that she was dating someone else? Well, a friend saw her with another guy bla, bla, bla...

She could at least tell it to my face. Maybe it was better if she didn't. I don't know. I just felt betrayed. I dont hate her, though the sms's i sent seemed to her that i hated her for that. Oh well. If she says that i hate her, then i hate her lor... Though I find that impossible because i still love her.

Yea, I'm such a wuss aren't i?

It wont be long before i start my descend into depressive madness. Hmm, ironice how that I have tried and gave all that i could to drag my sorry ass out of that mental state, life seems to have a sneaky way to yank you back in.

I want (note: want) to fall in love again, but i'm terrified of getting hurt again, but then, who hasn't? For those who have not felt this, I'm glad for you. This is a very powerful negative emotion. Treasure each other, learn to listen, and always trust each other, and even when things seem stale or lukewarm, make an effort to find out what's the cause and deal with it. Back it up with action, not some cock-up blank meaningless words.

Anyone quick! Any ideas to keep me out of that state of mind?

EDIT - 23-02-2005 10:40 P.M
Just had a chat with a friend. Naturally my angsted-depression took over my logical thinking and i told her about it. Suprisingly, I made it sound like a joke.

I never made anytjhing like this as a joke. What is happening to me? Could it be I'm able to cope with this? Or is it I must've have developed a sub-concious memory to protect myself from such pain?

What ever it may be, I will take this as a sign of maturity(HAH!) and it's time for me to stop wallowing in self-pity and hurt.

And another thing she said to me that i didn't realise before. She said maybe I should be happy for her since she already found someone else. I should, but I dont feel it. But I dont hate her either. Even though she thinks that i do but i just leave it as it is.

*sigh* Singlehood. Not that i feel self-pity for myself or others who are single. At least the good thing is that we are up for grabs! Hehe. This feels very strange.
I can feel the hurt in there, but at the same time, i'm not worked up or angst about it. I feel, rather so-so. Its hard to explain. Would that be anything to do with the wine i had? It's only one glass, and that was with Sprite!

God, if You're reading this, Thanks ya. I dont want to go into another stage of depression. Please if I am to be destined with someone, make it so.

I cant post this without the song that will accompany for the next few days!

DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL

"The Best Deceptions"

I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souvenirs.
I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights,
and the cool guys that you spent them with.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

Don't you see, don't you see,
that the charade is over?
And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.
So kiss me hard
'cause this will be the last time that I let you.
You will be back someday
and this awkward kiss that screams of other people's lips will be of service
to keeping you away.

I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.Ignoring the phone,
I'd rather say nothing. I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.
You're calling too late
too late to be gracious you do not warrant long goodbyes


DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL

"The Brilliant Dance"

So this is odd,
the painful realization that has all gone wrong.
And nobody cares at all,
and nobody cares at all.

So you buried all your lover's clothes
and burned the letters lover wrote,
but it doesn't make it any better.
Does it make it any better?
And the plaster dented from your fist
in the hall where you had your first kiss
reminds you that the memories will fade.

So this is strange,
our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance
where nobody leads at all,
where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down
and the ringing from this empty sound
is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
and thinking's just too much to ask
and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.

This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.

Dashboard Confessional - End Of An Anchor
I was away for a while
But I'm hoping someday you'll forgive me
Though I don't deserve it
I'll cherish it well if you give me one of your new starts

Just one more last chance
I swear that I'll earn it
If you front me for now
I'm good for it I swear
I'm better now I swear

In earlier days, they'd persecute people
They'd carry them off, and hobble their legs
For lesser offenses, and how I have harmed you
And still you allow me to walk free of pain

Though I punish myself
I will never settle
The debts I've incurred for scorning the face
Of absolute beauty, and measureless grace
And though I once mocked you
I'm dying to pay for it now
I'm dying to pay for it now

So, hand me the rocks to help weigh me down
And tether my legs with a cord tightly bound
To the end of an anchor thrown into the sound
And test me to see if I will rise against the worst that it can get

I wasn't well for a while
I savored the things that I knew were sure to destroy me
And that seemed to hold me
That seemed to carry me where I couldn't go
On the strength of my own
Well, I should've known
That gets me nowhere
I've learned that now I swear

In earlier days, they'd persecute people
They'd carry them off, and hobble their legs
For lesser offenses, and how I have harmed you
And still you allow me to walk free of pain

Though I punish myself
I will never settle
The debts I've incurred for scorning the face
Of absolute beauty, and measureless grace
And though I once mocked you
I'm dying to pay for it now
I'm dying to pay for it now, now, now

So, hand me the rocks to help weigh me down
And tether my legs with a cord tightly bound
To the end of an anchor thrown into the sound
And test me to see if I will rise against the worst that it can get

Well, I wasn't sure that I could
Well, I wasn't sure that I could
Well, I wasn't sure that I could
But, I can

EDIT - 23-02-2005 11:20 P.M
How can I not have ehis in my music therapy?

DAMIEN RICE

"Cannonball"

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer EACH DAY
Still I can't SAY what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer TO ME
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't WANNA scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!

Listening To Pirates Of The Carribean Soundtrack
Come on, Streamyx, you cant possibly be that slow!

Just when I wanted to avoid feeling ranty, here I am with another wonderful, angst-poo-rancid-riden post!

Oh, and by the way, i would not have gotten in the mood to write this if my mum hadn't got me this annoyed. And pissed. So thanks mum.

And another thing, I am not pissed at my mum. I had a history with my family which i may get into.

And also, this angst isn't so bad. When you get to see AND hear me swearing like i have no parent discipline AND swearing in all forms of chinese dialects (I'm sure you guys can paint a "pretty" picture), THAT is bad.

So, to start things off, i got up, feeling even more lazy to go to work because the boss havent paid us. But since he might pay us today, i had to yank myself out of bed and perform all the rituals to get to work.

Now, when i left my house, the rain had stopped. Then as I was using my motorcycle to work, which I normally use if the weather's fine, half-way through tabuan jaya the rain came. What the fuck?

So, i had to make an emergency stop, unrolled my rain coat by the road side, put the raincoat on before i can proceed my way. Okay, not really angsty because earlier on, i had red wine with Sprite. For Breakfast. On an empty sdtomach. So, i'd guess i owe it all to alcohol to calm me down.

Anyway, relatively got to the office late, which i did it on purpose because of the wondefully lack-of-motivation to work due to unpaid situation. Coupled with the fact that my parents are always in some way had to make my working experience a lot worse.

Hmm. Lets see now, oh ya, then some time around 10 the boss called all of us to get the check. When it came my turn, he asked me to close the door and there was I, alone with the boss. Now, please remember I'm still influenced by the alcohol i had partaken earlier. So here's the thing that would have ticked me off:

1: The salary was made in 2 checks. I wouldnt be really pissed if the payment were either cash, or check. But why 2 checks? And why hand both of it to us at the same time instead of on a 2 separate payments?
Answer to the first question. EPF issue. You see, if the salary was paid in 2 separate checks, that would mean that the boss would only need to pay half of the EPF. Technically i get to have more money in hand, but would I want to have more money in hand and receiving only HALF of my expected EPF payments?

HELL NO!!!!

Now, answer to the other question. EPF also.

2: My EPF hasn't been made. I DISTINCTLY remembered that he would get it done for me. TREE-FUCKING LIAR. So now, i'm not going to work, because I have to get the EPF application thing done myself, and i have to do my SOCSO as well. AND i ahve to go and open up a Maybank account. Oh well, at least i wont see him!

3: Unpaid leave. Need I say more? Ok, even if you don't i'll just rant a bit here. Unpaid leave. So chances of me getting a full pay for this February is slim.

Finished POTC soundtrack. Listening to Portishead album

4: He was yapping his pie trap about something. I cant remember, something about payment, something about financially secure for the next 6 months, bla, bla, bla. It's nice to know that alcohol kept me soberly dumb.

5: Earlier on, we were called to his office to explain tohear his "explaination" of why we haven't got paid. The "explanation" basically boils down to him blaming the sales staff (which are my colleagues and good friends) about not being able to push the customer and bla, bla, bla. Am I making my boss sound very UN-professional? Yes, GOOD.
That also leads to the point that the next time i ask him about money, he'll go and blame it on my friends, and i hate that.
Which on another note, I made a FUCKING STOOPID statement. Hey, i was under the influence of alcohol! And to add salt to the wound, the boss goes and uses it against my colleagues! BLOODY HELL!!!!

I only realised that mistake when my friends and i were talking about it. I was horrified of that and I apologised to everyone, except the boss. Shit, should've had kept my trap shut.

Now, while lunch time I wanted to get the EPF and the SOCSO and the Maybank thing done but apparently cannot because my friend say very late and he needs to be back in the office, so..... yeah. Postpone for tomorrow and unpaid leave. Great..........

And I had to stay back because there was a night class going on so I missed out on 2 episodes of Samurai X. I got back at about 10, and i still havent gotten my dinner yet. Why? I want to remain this angsty just so I can get this written down in the most angst-ridden way i can. Though the shower i took may have cooled my head down abit...

Ahh... the end of the ranting and whining and bitching. Why is it that nearly (note NEARLY) all the places i'ver worked, the boss NEVER pays on time? And why would they want to avoid paying their harworking employee's their deserving full EPF payments?! That is, IF (note, IF) they want to open the EPF and SOCSO account for their employee's.

Like my friend have said:
"We're all overworked; and underpaid... *grins*"

Sad. But true. Oh well, I'm hungry now. All this angst writing is working up an appetite & i think i'm going to cook myself maggi mee and munch on Chinese New Year leftovers. And I can sleep late because I'm not working tomorrow! Or later in the day.
What ever lah!

Call To RPG

Dude! And Dude-dettes.

There's a plan for a gathering of role playing adventure!

Damn. I should say that right now, I am very incoherent and I am VERY HUNGRY. Plus for breakfast, i had South Australian Mellow Red wine with Sprite. For Breakfast. On an Empty Stomach

Anyways.....

Raven had this idea of doing a RPG blog and Gette was thinking of doing a gathering of a RPG somewhere, sometime. Am i making any sense? No, dont worry, I'll post it in Kuching Bloggers as well.

Anyways, I'm not so ranty now because i FINALLY got my pay. It's only the January pay but, it's better than no pay, right? Right.

So, anyone, any ideas for an RPG? Though i was a little bit(Okay, QUITE!) baffled at the fact that some people have NO idea what is D&D and have never heard of Neverwinter Nights as well....

Okay. Plus the fact that I. Have. Never. Played the old-school PRG before. Yeah so i missed out on the calling for get-together, hanging out at a friends place and also using the pencil and eraser and dices(of all shapes, sizes and colours) and actually using my brain to draw and play the scene.

So, ideas on the RPG type? TIme? Place?

Ah crap. I'd better post this now before i become even more incoherent.

Pass It On.

These Will Never Make The News

But I sure as sunrise I'm gonna pass this in every way that i can.

In all the maddness of war, there is still faith, hope and love.

Go, and pass it on.

Tea, anyone?

Curtesy from Marita.

Cor blimey, I taste like Tea. I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You?

About me

I have been reminding myself to get this done like ages ago but (u knew there was a BUT there didn't you?) its either:
1: i'm not in the mood
2: i'm in the mood but i go ................
3: i'm busy
4: i forget
5: i'm lazy
6: wait, that's it

Okay. okay. To business. Here goes:

1: I'm 24. Actually 23 years, 10 months and 10 days (i think) away from my 24th birthday. Note that my time calculation is completely unreliable.

2: I just found out that there's a Lyric for the crazy frog/annoying thing. Now if you all remember there's the advertisment of a blue frog with helmet and googles and a small weenie riding a air-bike.
ANYWAYS, here's the link.

3: I'm working as a trainer in a training company (duh!). No, nothing physical. Just provide tranining and courses for computers ranging from operating systems to applications to technical stuff(programming, etc.)

4: I love gaming. PC gaming, that is. Cant really afford to get myself an Xbox or PS2 or Gamecube. Though there's always christmas! heeee.......

5: My passion has always been, i would say all over the place. But currently these are the ones that are the real mainstay. 3D stuff. Becasuse i love gaming. So basically anything from modelling to animation, etc. In fact, my thesis was on something 3D!
Samurai's. More specifically, Their Code of Honour, their Katana's and the variations of Swordplay that they master. Any recs appreciated! That's also the reason why i got myself involved in the martial arts club back in secondary school.

6: I'm a whatchamacallit, a half-breed. Dad's a half-breed as well. Mum's a pure-breed. Oh right, I'm a blended mix of 3 tablespoons of Chinese(Hokkien) and 1 tablespoon of Bidayuh. And you get me, a java-holic.

7: I am the eldest, and my only younger brother and I dont really get along. I have no female siblings. That is if you dont include my God-sisters.

8: I dont really follow a TV series closely. In case you're wondering, i like CSI, CSI: Miami and CSI: NY, Charmed, though very loosely, Andromeda and 24.

9: The craziest thing i've done is probably cycling from my house in BDC to my matriculation college in Kota Samarahan. All the while cars and trucks were moving past me at 80+ kph. My legs nearly gave way.

10: I spent Christmas one time in the hostel. I think it was semester break and i didn't want to go home because my parents really ticked me off.

11: I dont get pissed easily but please dont overflow my patience bucket. Thank you.

12: Dashboard Confessional's MTV unplugged album got me interesed in playing my guitar again. Thing is, my guitar, is at my X house.

13: Umm... My hair's naturally wavy. Till at one point when i was 10 some punk kid lit up gunpowder that i was laying for a show and ended up frizzling my hair. PERMANENTLY.

14: I straightened it like twice over the last 4 years. So far, it's still straight.

15: i have bad taste in styles. When it comes to applying the style to myself that is. This includes hair cuts and styling, shirts and pants matching in the most horrific ways(Okay, not that bad lah)

16: Probably the one word that i think best describes me is:
weird.

17: I suffer from mood swings. i think. I also suffer from short-term memory loss (like that blue fish in Finding Nemo).

18: I've worked as a waiter, mechanic, PC tech-support, Lab demonstrator, VB6 programmer and now I'm starting out another career as an I.T Technical Trainer. Ironically, in all the work i did, working as a mechanic was the only, i repeat again, ONLY job that paid me on time, i say again. I get paid ON TIME.

19: I am a proud owner of a 1982 Nissan March. It belonged to my dad and i technically own a Kenari, by legal right only.

20: My dad is driving the Kenari. I'm driving the March. At least it's MY car. Not some i-borrowed/sneakily-used-it-without-mummy/daddy's permission fancy car.

21: I have an issue with Kuching drivers, myself included. They include roadhogs, turtle speeders, lane thief, and the infamous double parker. DONT get me started.

22: I'm not a road bully. Yet. heeeee.........

23: I can be easily spotted around town as the straight-haired, badly-dressed geek listening to his music really loud walking alone around town. I need to pried out from my mp3 player if I'm alone. Or working. Or driving/biking home

24: I love streamyx. heeeeee........

25: I'm also a CHEEK KING! I think this year is the fighting rooster, right? *shrugs*

26: People call me Nick, nik, Ah Nick, anik, wasabi, hey man, dato's!, Eh!, You!, Nicky *shudders!*, Ah Ti, Tai ko, encik. There's only 1 person who calls me Pinky. That was because i had a red streak on the front section back in my UNIMAS days.

27: I hated UNIMAS life. I hate ass-kissing. So i just kick back.

28: The only thing I've ever learned during my time there was my thesis and my examiner and my thesis supervisor were only the VERY few people i admire and respect most.

29: Not that i had no social life then, it just that, well, it was messy, but i'm glad for those people whom i call friends. They know who they are. i think.

30: I SO like my new Camel Active sling bag and wallet! Oh yea, That's another indication if you're around town and you happen to see a guy with the sling bag and listening to music.

31: I love my Ancient. He/She's the p3 667 overclocked to 855 machine that i had since my freshie years till now.

32: And since i read mac's post, I will give my RM9.85 net worth because that's all i have in my savings

33: A bitch is a bitch is still a bitch is STILL a bitch. I dont care. You make feel bad about myself or judge by my properties, You can kiss. My. Shiny. Metal. Ass. So says bender, so says mac, so says the post, so says me.

34: I have no qualms with girls older than me. It's just because i remember there was once a girl liked me and she's older than me by 2 years. i like her too, but i wasnt into starting a relationship then because i was a mess inside.

35: If i had a girl friend/lover/wife/spouse/honey-bunny/blablabla that earns more than i do and/or holds a better job position, I'd be beaming with joy and i'd be so proud of her.

36: i dont expect my partner to take care of the household, cleaning/cooking what ever, I want the FAMILY to get into it, including me and the kids(if any). She wash, i cook. I wash, she cook. Something like that.

37: i feel very sad for my own sex. As explained by mac, why feel threatened by women who are "better" than you? We still bleed and die. And if you're expecting the woman to stay home, clean, cook, handle the kids and takes your clothes and shoes off when you get back from "work", i'd suggest you take that maid that's been working in your family for years. Hey, at least she knows just how you like your curry chicken.

38: And if she can stand my boo-boo and whining, so I have to with her mood, change. After all, its these things that we need each other for. To change for the better, if not for each other. I'm not making any sense, am i?

39: Oh, and if you see me being quiet, it's because i just want to hear you talk. i can be a chatter box, but i also like to be the listener.

40: Prodigy's Aways Outnumbered Never Outgunned album rocks.

41: I can also say i am opposite-mix. i like my job, but i just can stay still. i love being a couch potato, but my legs are just itching to sprint. i usually wait and plan my move, but i also "Just Do It". Bla bla bla, ... ... ...

42: I have discovered that i absorb people. If they're depressed, i'd be depressed. If they're a bunch of idiots, oh Lord save me! I also am able to modulate in the exact opposite frrquencies. Like if they're lovey-dovey, I'd be *sigh* wonder-what-i-did-wrong. I sound so yin-yang, hor?

43: I want to go play game now.

44: I started this at 8:19 pm on Feb 18, 2005. It got finished(for now) at 1:08 am on Feb 19, 2005

45: Prodigy's Aways Outnumbered Never Outgunned album ROCKS!

Muse me

"Time Is Running Out"

I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
That you've created

You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

You will be the death of me
You will be the death of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted

Now that you know I'm trapped since ovulation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation

You will squeeze the life out of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Ooooohh

You will suck the life out of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Ooooohh

Thanks to AZ Lyrics

Congratulations

To You,
We have known each other for so long. Ironic that the first time we met, we talked like old friends whom have not heard nor seen in millenia. I have found a true friend in this world. I could be myself around you, for i know if i made some boo-boo, you'd still laugh and make me feel good about myself.

Then there came the regretful moment in my, if not, our lives. I abused the one thing i should have never abused. Yet, You were patient with me and tried to helped. But i was blind and stubborn to see or even admit my terrible ways. Oh how i regret that black smudge in our lives. When You left, You knew it was exactly what i NEEDED and yet i was bitter. I hated You, I could only think of how You stabbed me from the back. I wanted nothing more to do with You and wanted to only give You the pain that You gave me. I could not even fathom the thought of me, forgiving You. What You gave me was the purest taste of bitterness of all medicine i have taken. Yet, that was what i NEEDED.

For more than 4 years, I tasted nothing more and took nothing more but that bitter medication. Yet, strange it seemed for i got better. Now, after keeping away from You for so long, i caught myself at times remembering the good times we had. Now, though i still am on that medication, it doesnt taste as bitter anymore. for so long not hearing from You is unbearable to me. yet my longingness to hear you, to see you again was hampered by my fear of You. Again, and again, i tried to muster my strength to contact you and again and again i fail.

During those times, i forced myself to look at the horror I had caused. Oh, How ashamed i am of the terrible things i did to You. I am appalled of my actions i sickened myself. Yet, the lesson You taught me i will NEVER forget. For to forget is to condemn myself and utterly destroy everything that You and I cherish.

The realisation came as sudden and as sure as the dawning of the day and the setting of the sun. I have found myself able to forgive you. I COMPLETELY nad UTTERLY and WHOLE-HEARTEDLY forgive You. I realised what You did to me wasn't the best, but it was the only to get it to my head. For that, I thank You. For I am who i am now because of You.

The urge was too much for me hold back any longer. My mind, my heart will not simply keep quiet anymore. I was uneasy until my wall collasped. I mustered what ever i had and for the first time in 4 long years, I heard You again. Suprised You sound and yet glad your voice. When i heard You again, i hyperventilated, yet You nearly stilled my heart. Adrenaline swirled all over me, yet my legs nearly gave way. After so long, You still do this to me?

You had forgotten for a moment of that terrible moment of Your life. But You remembered, and You had fogiven it. Still i NEED to say it. I confess all to You. I admitted all the crimes i commited against You. I have said to You that I forgive You. I sought Your forgiveness, and You forgave. Then, we talked. A lot has happened in the last 4 years of our lives since we last were in contact. Now I regret I could not be there on this special day of Your's but this is how i will honour and celebrate your success:

CONGRATULATIONS! I AM PROUD OF YOU!

And dont let ANYONE tell You any different. Though You and I are far apart, I am in no hurry for You to come home. It is enough for me to confess all to You, and to You alone. Now I pray that You will be safe and be successful in what You do. But know that I am still here. Waiting for the time when You and I could meet up, sit down, talk for hours over a drink and be together.

I pray that I will never repeat that dark moment. Again. To You, if it meant fit for me to be given another chance again, or anyone. To You, if You get to this blog, this is my heart speaking to You. This is my confession.

Argh! Boring nya aku!

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen. Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people. You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find! People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

----------------------------
Bored. No idea on what to yak about.

Edit - 17-02-2005 12:01 a.m

Your Passion is Purple

Sophisticated and classy, you're a bit picky about sex. You're more likely to be turned on by a fancy hotel room than a dirty flick. Sex is fine enough, as long as it doesn't mess up your hair. For you, sex is more about power and favors than actually pleasure.

What Color Is Your Passion?

To all Hokkien Chinese friends, Happy New Year. I didn't know this (And I call myself a Hokkien?) that we celebrate a bit later.

I took another quiz because I'm bored and stressed out. Plus, I'm contemplating on giving this girl whom i teaching either my number or my email and friendster. Thing is, we've only known each other like, 24 hours only. Guess i'd be making a first move on earning her friendship. Wish me luck. Either that, or i chicken out.

Hmm, I've read about 'About me' post and I've been thinking that i should get to that. Well, this should remind me when i read this later. I'm bored AND sleepy. (Tido lah!)

Commercial Love

What? I'm blogging on Valentine's Day where a stick of rose(I know, my brain is still off) sells for 400% of the "normal" price and just when i got back from hanging out with friends of mine whom i have not seen is a long time and JUST when i got some idea's running, NOW I'm having an overflow of idea's where i go .............

Yep, it happens.

I have absolutely no idea on what to write so i'm going just as im typing this down.

Let's see, met up with them after church, talked about stuff from cars to games to RPG to doopleganger incident (she apparently is at it. AGAIN) and a brief moment about 'tyres' and skanky clothes. I was wearing a medium sized tee that looked a little fitting on me that says 'girl' in lego blocks and a female toilet sign at the back.

*shrugs*

Am thinking to myself that i should get some sleep, START prepping for my class this coming this Tuesday and my head is spinning because of either too many smokes or too many things going in my head that it's like after someone switched my brain to 'ON' it went OD and I'd be spasming on the floor from WAY too much ideas going.

oww.....

A friend of mine miss called so i called her back asking her what's the story. Apparently she was just checking up if i did get myself a handphone, which i sort of did. I'm 'renting' my aunt's phone till my boss pays my WAY overdue pay so i can put myself in a position of either getting a K700i or the digicam.

Anyways, getting back, she wished me Commercial Love day, which i shall call it from on forth, hmmm...... Now that i think about it, that can sound VERY wrong in more was than one. I'll let your creativity run wild here. (hookay, THAT sounded bad too). Back to what i was saying, told her that i'm not attached (in my exact word; "aku dah janda. widower katakan....")
she wanted to go watch 'Constantine' on monday but i told her that i got class on tuesday so I'll have to check my calendar to see when's the best time for me. owww, head spinning, plus i got this weird german song stuck in my head because it was playing on my winamp.

I am SO blur right now, aren't i? OOH! speaking of blur, when i was hanging out with them, it was spontaneous thing so i asked them:
"One word that best describe me"

here are the answers:
Raven said: "Blur"
Cool.

mac said: "Exciteable"
Need to look up on that.

Art said: "Firecrackers"
Actually he wanted to say 'Blurry Firecrackers' i think though I'm not sure how that would describe me......

Oh ya, need to look up on the licensing thing from mac's page.

OK. I better post this now and try to knock me own lights out worry about the class when/if i wake up.

Be good people and enjoy Commercial Love day.
*grins*

Edit - 14-02-2005 12:20 pm
I've just added the copyright license thing following the advice from mac's and Raven's idea/advice/opnion.

And the chinese shops around my workplace is having the lion dance ceremony since 8:30 am this morning. and i think my poor colleague might suffer from a little hard on hearing problem since the next door shop workers light up the firecrackers and topping it off with 3 Chai leh/airbombs! At least i had my music playing REALLY LOUD!

Wanted to blog earlier but the boss came in like in stealth mode and i JUST barely saw him at the office door so i had to minimise the whole window and leave my box prison a.k.a cubicle to do some 'work'.

but now it's lunch time and actually DID some work. No need to prep the class for tomorrow. Just need to my hands on the subject now but it's lunch time and i'm hungry and i am lazy.

I like the keyboard that I'm using in the office. I can actually keep up my tuping with my mental incoherency. That's nice. I am hungry again. Yes, me. Bored.

In other news, I dont seem to feel like I'm spiralling at mach 10 all the down to depressia(Land Of FREAKING DEPRESSION!) That's good. Does that mean I'm okay? That i've gotten over her breaking up with me? Nah....
Still, it's nice not to feel depressed on Commercial Love day. Heck, i wasn't even feeling depressed when my friend bought for his girl a stick of rose (I KNOW, salah guna English!) at 400% price hike. I think I was in shock of the 400% thing i guess. And all of us (excepts the boss) are STILL waiting on our deserved paycheck. And I am SO hungry right now.

Edit - 14-02-2005 3:30pm
I know I'm supposed to do something with my class tomorrow but i just cant help myself! And so to get it off my head, I present to you the lovey-dovey (Dang!) or "jiwangs" songs to listen to on Commercial Love Day!

Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter

Jem's Flying High

The Entire Dashboard Confessional's MTV album! Okay okay I'll name a few:
Swiss Army Romance
Living In Your Letter
The End Of And Anchor
Vindicated

Yellow Card's Gift's And Curses. Really.

And here's a couple (hmm.....) of links just in case anyone's interested into finding out the history behind this day:
History Channel On Valentine's Day

Picture Frames take on Valentine's Day

EDIT - 14-02-2005 7:10PM
This will probably be the MOST edited blog. Ever. Let's see, I'm spending my Commercial Love Day time watching reruns of Samurai X on AXN(The Home Of Action & Adventure), drinking red wine and am currently listening to Better Than Ezra's Desperately Wanting. Plus I'm prepping myself for tomorrow's class of 3D Studio Max. Right now it's Bic Runga's Sway. Ah, lovey-dovey songs DOH! I have got to STOP using that! Thank you Kimmy!(my god-sister)

Hmm... I have about 4, 5 hours till it turns February 15th. So far, so good. Still not emotionally and mentally depressed about not having Significant Other. I would love to hang out with friends right now if i wasn't tied up with work. But tahnkfully, there's always blog.

Speaking of other things, Bowling For Soup's Life After Lisa rocks. Espacially the verse in the lyric going:
"Life After Lisa's not so bad at all." Not that I had a girlfriend named Lisa. Yet.
Hell, the whole song rocks. Plus i should really look up for American Hifi's new album where there's a particular song named "Where The Geeks Get The Girls". Pretty cool.

Oh yea, speaking of which, there's a post earlier in friendster where it goes to all singles. i think it's kinda like a petition thing where the criteria is that if your single, put your name in there and say something, i think.

Anyway's, out of nowhere in my head, i typed these down:
"Someone cut the strings of this puppet and now it's gathering dust and losing colour"

*shrugs* Heh. Go figure. I swear i wasn't even CONCIOUSLY thinking of trying to say something or anything like that. But that's just me so i'll leave it to you all to judge on my. 'creativeness'....
Now, if you all would excuse me, i have to go racing. In NFS:U2 lah. Where got my 1982 Nissan March got that power?
heeeeeeeee........

ANOTHER EDIT! - 14-02-2005 10:30pm
Allright! I promise this will be the last edit i make. I just had to post a song lyric, after seeing post's and post's of lyrics all over so here's mine:

YELLOWCARD LYRICS

"Gifts And Curses"

Mary belongs to the words of a song.
I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her.
But she will not wait for me, anymore, anymore.
Why did I say all those things before? I was sure.

(She is the one), but I have a purpose,
(she is the one), and I have to fight this,
(she is the one), a villian I can't knock down.

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
still I will always fight on for you.

Mary's alive in the bright New York sky,
the city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her.
Everything's small on the ground below, down below.
What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?

(She is the one), all that I wanted,
(she is the one), and I will be haunted,
(she is the one), this gift is my curse for now.

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
Still I will always fight on for you. Fight on for you ...

I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, its all for you
and my worst pains are words I cannot say
still I will always fight on for you. Fight on for you. Fight on for you...

Thanks to AZ Lyrics

Was looking into me friendster post and I just had to take this meme.
I. Have. No. Willpower.

You Are 20 Years Old

20 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

And I'm 24

Finally I have something!

Shower does wonders.
Let's see....
Well, I suppose i could start of by stating that the whole blog piracy issue is over. Old news by the time this get posted.
Finally did went to do some wondering around town last saturday by myself and my trusty mp3 player.

Managed to get me self a couple of T-shirts and a hair cut. Shopping really does wonders. Would've gotten a new pair of shoes but didn't bring enough cash so, oh well...

Speaking of hair cuts, I did mine at the Classic Vogue at KP. Now I wont be saying much about hair do and what not and confessing to everyone that my hair sense = disaster.
Right, hair cut. When i first step in, i was asking how long would it be to get my turn and when i came back to get my chance for the haircut, it took me a LONG while for the momemnt to sink in.
I was the only MALE customer. Apart from the guy hair styler/barber that is. When that sunk, i was like "WTF's" in the head. Not that i have any issues with the opposite sex thing or what ever, it just felt like one of those moments when you go "Huh?!". Wonder if it's one of those twilight zones?

Oh, and i got to hang out and socialise with my friends after not doing that for like what, 3 weeks? Man, i was teetering (Possible spelling error) on the verge of insanity due to lack of socialising. Another proof that we human's ARE social creatures.

Today was like any other day. get out of bed (with a LOT of willpower!), get to work, avoid traffic wait; there was HARDLY any traffic!
There are 2 good things that happened to me today:
1: Met a fellow Kuching blogger! WOOHOO!
2: Got a really nice digicam offer.

And here's the scoop on the digicam offer and i really need opinions on this:
1: the selller is selling it for RM500(negotiable)
2: the reason why the seller is selling this digicam is because he's upgraded.
3: the digicam is made AND assembled in japan
4: the digicam comes fully packaged as in the review here.
5: the digicam comes with as an extra bonus, a brand new 64 MB card(not sure about the "brand new")
6: photo + blog = photoblog! It's something i've gotten an interest in. Thanks to mac, marita, cayce, dee and everyone who've added wonderful photo's in their blogs!

here's my situation/predicament:
1: I STILL have not gotten my paycheck! *GASP!*
2: I still have to see the actual phone which if my friend does come by tomorrow and remember's to bring it.
3: I still want to get myself the Sony Ericsson K700i phone because:
a: I could use a new phone
b: Refer point (6)
c: It's got radio
d: It's got a 0.3 mp camera with built-in flash and 4x digital zoom
e: It has an mp3 player limited only by its 41 MB internal memory (sorry, no expandable)
f: 3D java games that i can download and play to keep myself occupied(and a very effective office productivity killer!)
g: refer (a). I'm borrowing my aunt's phone
h: I'm a lifelogger so I feel terrible for those who did took a look at my lifelogger site and find only crappy pictures! That is, if i had anyone visiting there in the first place.
i: This phone will replace all of the other gadgets that i use to carry around. this includes free, crappy FM stereo, my trusty but ageing mp3 player, current phone, and a torchlight (dont ask why)
j: I'm so used to Sony Ericsson's T9 and sms styles that it's a little difficult for me to sms on nokia phones
k: I like the part where i can take the only-for-the-moment-not-to-be-missed shot, and no i'm NOT talking about phone voyeurism! TREE FUCKER.
l: The phone would cost me around RM1000, give or take.

And I'm still WAITING for my paycheck.
So yea, before i can make any decisions on blowing my hard earned dough, i still need to take a look at the physical camera and examine with outmost scrutiny. Oh and the camera is the Nikon Coolpix 775. Warranty period's over i should say.
I'm not a megapixel freak, and from the reviews that i saw the image output is pretty decent. And I'm not a pro photographer either. I have taken into the fact that life is always changing and there are those moments when you see something, beautiful, wonderful, meaningful, or something that catches your attention and you just wish that you could've taken a photograph of it.

So, anyone, any ideas?

p/s: HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Cant think of one....

And since i couldn't get my brain to work today, (hmm... must be something i had.) I decided to go link-hopping reading friends post, reading comments and writing some, read more post and STILL CANNOT get my neurons firing, i decided to take up on this meme that i got from chipperazzi:


You are fresh-ground coffee, black, first thing
in the morning.

You are a life-giving substance. The US government
has secret stockpiles of you hidden in caverns
under the Rockies. When for some reason you
are late to a meeting, world financial markets
are thrown into chaos. Your presence can cure
warts and mild depression, and when you enter a
room, you diffuse a gentle fragrance that
reminds people of the happiest moment of their
childhoods. Cats and children adore you; they
curl up at your feet, where they torment small
crawling things and occasionally lick your
toes.


What kind of coffee are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I will say this again:
That could be wrong in SO MANY ways....

I go bath now. maybe that should get my brain online.

OOOH!! I'm too angst to come out with a title!!!

Let's see.
my friends blog entry was STOLEN!!!

WHAT

THE

FUCK?!

*TYPING/SLAMMING HARD ON KEYBOARD!*

I was checking my blog and there was a comment from a friend of mine. Her post, Thinking Too Much was dated december 27th, 2004. 2 days later, a clone/rip-off/pirate/duplicate/copy/(insert more here!) reared its BEE-hind here!
You can read more about it from mac's page.

I mean, seriously, kids, stealing is not good. period. and if you just HAD to rip some one else's blog, i'd suggest u go firewalking. same high, without the kind of shit you get yourself into when you steal's someone else's post. Either that or you could ACKNOWLEDGE the author FIRST! TREE FUCKER.

AND another thing.
Just what is so damn hard about blogging? As can clearly be seen, mac had problems with it.
Neither do i.
today wasnt so bad. i woke up rather late because me phone alarm couldnt work. thanks to granny, i woke up and got ready and left the house. by the time i got there i was already 30 minutes late. thankfully the boss was in a good mood. nothing much happened today except the usual pranks from my colleague about me and my female colleague having a relationship and stuff.

I am looking foward to teaching the Flash MX and 3D Studio Max software sometime after chines new year. It's been too long i haven't touch any of the software so it would be nice to sharpen my skills again.

On the way back however, i NEARLY got myself into an accident with a green wira. Too bad i didnt take down the license plate or otherwise i'd gleefully post it up here. speaking of which this is to every obnoxious, self-centered kuching driver's out there(you know who u are):

DONT take the Middle road. It's divided into lanes for a FUCKING REASON. If you're gonna cut, for the love of it CUT! Dont just move. stop. move. stop. ponder. move. stop. move. emergency brake! and if you're the easy driver there's the LEFT lane! Right Lane are for people who are chasing time! you could save some one's life if u let them use the FASTER RIGHT LANE. But thankfully i got home in 1 piece and here i am blogging it to you.

See?! That wasn't hard. AT ALL!!!
And if you cant write some thing, then dont! Go do something else, like browse the internet, play games, read a book, take a walk, watch tv, do house chores. Who know's you just might find something to blog about it later.

AND ANOTHER THING!
Blog's are a place where in my opnion people can share their thought's, keep in touch with friends and perhaps meet other fellow blogger's. I sometimes use this to keep a diary of my life so when i look back, i know i've been there before or some shit like that. They're NOT to be ripped without CONSENT from the author.

Argh! i. am. so. pissed.

Cap'n, We've lost our communication!

It is now over 8 hours since I got my sore throat. And to make it all worse is that I have 1 more class to teach tomorrow.
WOE and ANGST!

Anyway i did manage to drop over the pharmacy where my girl, correction: EX girl works at. And i thought that i would be angst or hurt to see her again. I felt happy to see her again. Somehow seeing her, just made my already horrible day a little more bearable. She gave ne the lozenges, asked about how i'm doing and what has she been doing. And she managed to twirl around to show me her hair style.

Paid, smiled to her, said it was nice to see her again and goodbyes to each other.
Got home and found my LOCKED door, BROKEN INTO. AGAIN.
I swear that my parents have NO respects for my own space. Damn. Plus the fact that my younger brother and I NEVER got along. EVER. Added to the fact that my brother got more attention from my parents since he came along but I'M NOT BITTER!



Think happy thoughts man. Think happy thoughts
*remembers the 1st smile she gave when i walked into her workplace today*
Ahh.... better.

Yea, I'm still very much in love with her. And it still hurts-lah, the fact that she said she lost the feeling for me. But one can always have a little hope, right?

*Pops lozenges No.5 into mouth*

It's really akward, and lonely to be single, especially after a break-up. But, all the more strange is me coming to the thinking that this separation would do me good. I have no idea how this would benefit me. Wait, let me re-analyse my situation:
1. still paying back my study loan taken up from my dad's company, so broke.
2. still have no FUCKING idea if the PTPTN is gonna sue my ass about the 'money' they 'said' banked into my account when: 1) i have NEVER signed for the agreement. 2)i chucked the agreement letter on day 1 they handed it to me so how in the world did they get all my peronal info without my signature and knowing consent?! 3) How did they NEVER, EVER bother to tell me about the 'money' that 'they banked into my account'?
3. still pondering if i should go and give the PTPTN director my OTHER end of the stick when i see him/her/idiot/(insert insult here)
4. still pondering if i should just get it over with and just pay the 'money' back to them since they're the 'government' all the while having this running through my head everytime they come into my mind(Tree Fucker)
5. Still pondering if i should get my own life insurance with my own money since my parents bought 1 for brother like years back and they never seem to bother if i die.
6. still thinking if i should just move to a new place once i've enough money to leave and break all communication with them
7. still pondering if i should do no. 6
8. still pondering if i should get a car first, or a house
9. still pondering when my company is going to get paid from our customers so I can get PAID so i can get my Sony Ericsson K700i camera phone
10. still feeling like Whoa! world turning i am high oww sore throat oww bladder warning
11. Still sucking on lozenges No. 5
12. Still pondering if the 'government' is putting a bug in my bank account
13. still paranoid to use bank account because 'government' might plant bug to track me
14. Still unlucky in love
15. Still hating sore throats
16. Still thinking of whether if i should spent the money to fix up my bike because my bike is my main transportation even though i have my own car.
17. still prefer to use bike whenever possible because cheaper fuel cost and jam-free!
18. Still hate it when my brother plays the music loudly downstairs because it's late night and i'd like some PEACE N QUIET!
19. Still believes that God has good things in store for me, as long as i earn it.
20. Still having my faith being tested 24/7
21. Still getting random goosebumps
22. Still trying to get used to being single, separated and rebounding from the last relationship.
23. Still feeling blessed that friends are here to keep me busy

*Pops lozenges no. 6*

24. Still hating sore throats even more.
25. Still posting about stuffs that wouldn't be an interesting read.
26. Still think that my blog is NOWHERE as great as other blogs i go to.
27. Still having hunger sounds form stomach though am trying very VERY hard not to take late night snacks
28. Still trying to find a time to finish my 2nd PC case mod project that's been on delay since last year
29. Still hate the thought of losing my voice completely tomorrow if i don get better
30. Still glad that blogs does not NEED any voice recording functions
31. Still am going through the journey of becoming an Catholic even though have not set foot on anglican church since i was born and added the fact that my parents NEVER bothered to educate me on religion so i ended up more like a heretic paganistic free thinker, until last year when i made up my mind completely to follow the Laws of the Catholic church.
32. Still wondered if it was a good thing for all the things that have happened in my life
33. Still getting high effect wihout alcohol and medication(does lozenges count?) and hating sore throats(Yes yes i KNOW)
34. Still trying to get used to people calling me Mr. Nick
35. Still trying to get used to people calling me Teaacher or Cikgu in malay
36. Still glad I got my Streamyx broadband connection although the speeds are questionalble
37. Still hoping our customer's pay up so i can add photos into my blog!
38. Still not feeling sleepy when i should've slept like 3 hours ago.
39. Still not in the festive Chinese New Year mood.
40. Still haven't clean up my room though i really should
41. Still....
That's it. I'm dry now. Hmmm, i have quite an issues to solve, don't i?
Well, i hope you all enjoyed this.

i go sleep now. But not before going down to get more water, knocking on my brother's door to tell him to quiet the music, pop another lozenges, and have my personal time with Him.
Hmm... I hope it rains tonight. Stay healthy y'all!

Life

I was supposed to get this done like yesterday but I was completely held back by work.
Took the same title from Velvet Raven's post.

I'm not good at speeches so to my dear friend, if you're reading this and even if you're not, know that your friends are here for you.

In the same meaning of my friend's post:

It is better to celebrate the life of the person than to mourn their passing.
Take care my friend.