Congratulations

To You,
We have known each other for so long. Ironic that the first time we met, we talked like old friends whom have not heard nor seen in millenia. I have found a true friend in this world. I could be myself around you, for i know if i made some boo-boo, you'd still laugh and make me feel good about myself.

Then there came the regretful moment in my, if not, our lives. I abused the one thing i should have never abused. Yet, You were patient with me and tried to helped. But i was blind and stubborn to see or even admit my terrible ways. Oh how i regret that black smudge in our lives. When You left, You knew it was exactly what i NEEDED and yet i was bitter. I hated You, I could only think of how You stabbed me from the back. I wanted nothing more to do with You and wanted to only give You the pain that You gave me. I could not even fathom the thought of me, forgiving You. What You gave me was the purest taste of bitterness of all medicine i have taken. Yet, that was what i NEEDED.

For more than 4 years, I tasted nothing more and took nothing more but that bitter medication. Yet, strange it seemed for i got better. Now, after keeping away from You for so long, i caught myself at times remembering the good times we had. Now, though i still am on that medication, it doesnt taste as bitter anymore. for so long not hearing from You is unbearable to me. yet my longingness to hear you, to see you again was hampered by my fear of You. Again, and again, i tried to muster my strength to contact you and again and again i fail.

During those times, i forced myself to look at the horror I had caused. Oh, How ashamed i am of the terrible things i did to You. I am appalled of my actions i sickened myself. Yet, the lesson You taught me i will NEVER forget. For to forget is to condemn myself and utterly destroy everything that You and I cherish.

The realisation came as sudden and as sure as the dawning of the day and the setting of the sun. I have found myself able to forgive you. I COMPLETELY nad UTTERLY and WHOLE-HEARTEDLY forgive You. I realised what You did to me wasn't the best, but it was the only to get it to my head. For that, I thank You. For I am who i am now because of You.

The urge was too much for me hold back any longer. My mind, my heart will not simply keep quiet anymore. I was uneasy until my wall collasped. I mustered what ever i had and for the first time in 4 long years, I heard You again. Suprised You sound and yet glad your voice. When i heard You again, i hyperventilated, yet You nearly stilled my heart. Adrenaline swirled all over me, yet my legs nearly gave way. After so long, You still do this to me?

You had forgotten for a moment of that terrible moment of Your life. But You remembered, and You had fogiven it. Still i NEED to say it. I confess all to You. I admitted all the crimes i commited against You. I have said to You that I forgive You. I sought Your forgiveness, and You forgave. Then, we talked. A lot has happened in the last 4 years of our lives since we last were in contact. Now I regret I could not be there on this special day of Your's but this is how i will honour and celebrate your success:

CONGRATULATIONS! I AM PROUD OF YOU!

And dont let ANYONE tell You any different. Though You and I are far apart, I am in no hurry for You to come home. It is enough for me to confess all to You, and to You alone. Now I pray that You will be safe and be successful in what You do. But know that I am still here. Waiting for the time when You and I could meet up, sit down, talk for hours over a drink and be together.

I pray that I will never repeat that dark moment. Again. To You, if it meant fit for me to be given another chance again, or anyone. To You, if You get to this blog, this is my heart speaking to You. This is my confession.