Overhaul

Like the engine, so does me & the first thing is I've renamed my blog. Thing's happened in my life that made me who i am now.
Listening to Avril Lavigne's Why. Really fitting the emotional shitty-dickweed-crap that i'm going through now.
Mum came by my room and lately we've begun to have a real son-mum talk. I dont know why but I've told her about my "relationship" with my girl because she was wondering what happened since I didn't call her or even went out with her. Tolde her the whole truth and she said I should just forget about it and move on. Wish I could. I still love her.
And as stupid and deserving a slap to the back of the head for awake-up call, I still love her.
Mum said there's no reason we shouldn't contact each other. Even if we couldn't see each other doesn't mean i can't even call her. She asked me why i didn't & i told her that i wanted to but, my girl asked me that i dont call her till she decides to call me first. Mum then went on saying "Why you'd have to listen what she say? U people still togetherka o wat? Tell her take it, or end it."

Right now, I'm feeling stale. I can't get on with my life right. I mean, I cant break up because i still have feeling's for her, though on her side i cant say.
My girl knew she's hurting when she said that we should take a break. & she wished she didn't have to do this.
It's only been what, 2 months? since she took a 'break'.
FUCK man!
I'm getting depressed again!!! FUCK!!!!!
Strange, that i can hekp others but myself. I'm tired of this.
Am I a fool for being so "loyal"? Someone, please.... any ideas? help?